This is the ‘goodwill message’ I wrote last year. This, hopefully, will be given to the child when they reach 18. It is to give them a little information about their egg donor and why I donated. xx
“You don’t know me but if you are reading this letter, I can only assume that your parents have told you that in 2014, they needed an egg donor to be able to conceive you, and I decided to help. It also means that it worked – the treatment worked and they have you! Which makes me so, so happy!
You must be at least 18 now which would make the year 2033? It is very strange to be sitting here writing a letter to someone I don’t know who will be reading this in 2033. It is 2014 now and I have just turned 30, which means that when you are reading this, I will be be turning 50 next year! Scary!
I don’t know much about your Mum and Dad but I do know how much they wanted you. I received a letter from them before I started the medical side of this process and I learnt a lot about them from that. I know that they have struggled for a very long time to get you and now that you’re here, or since you arrived, all of their dreams will have come true! I don’t know if you have any siblings but you were their first born, the beautiful baby they waited so long for, went through treatment after treatment for and now they have you! What a incredible journey you have been on!
I am sure you have already been told this but I went through a process to stimulate my eggs so that the medical team could collect them. They were then fertilised with your Dad’s sperm and you were created, but you were just a tiny little embryo then needing a lot of TLC. You would have been transferred back into your Mum’s womb after a few days. Your Mum and Dad then went through an agonising two week wait before they were allowed to do a pregnancy test! I cannot even begin to imagine what strength they must have to be able to get through that time, the not knowing, the waiting, the wanting to test early, the desire to see the word ‘pregnant’. And then, they did see it, they probably couldn’t believe it at first and probably had to recheck it and redo it before they would let it sink in. ‘Pregnant’!!! Believe me, they thought they would never see that word! You are their little miracle. For the next 9 months, your Mum carried you and watched you grow. They loved you before they had even met you!
You are your parents are such strong people. You survived the odds before even turning into a baby! Now you are 18 and embarking on your adult life and I am so pleased for you all.
So, let me tell you a little about me….
As I have said, I am 30 years old. I have been married to my amazing husband for nearly 4 years. We had a whirlwind romance and were engaged within 6 weeks of meeting each other! I have dark brown eyes, brown hair, am fair skinned, slim build and petite 5 foot 1….although by now I may well have shrunk! I had poor eyesight as a child but had laser eye surgery in 2012 after wearing contact lenses for 10 years. My big, brown eyes have always been my favourite physical attribute.
I am a Nurse and have been working in the caring profession since the age of 16. I qualified in 2005 when I was 21. Nursing is a calling, something that cannot be denied or ignored. I love it more everyday and I like to think that I make a difference in people’s lives when they are at their most vulnerable. I am also a Writer. I have had my own column and have been writing for as long as I can remember. Writing helps me make sense things of things and always makes me feel better (and I have been told I am actually quite good!) My friends and family are always telling me to write my book…..who knows, by the time you read this, I may well be a published author.
My husband and I do not and cannot have our own children. My husband has the condition Cystic Fibrosis which is a genetic lung condition and quite simply, does not produce any sperm. There are lots of reasons why we could not go through fertility treatments ourselves, mainly that my husbands’ health had to always take priority. It certainly is heartbreaking knowing that we will never have children so I completely understand how your Mum and Dad were feeling before they got you. It is an awful darkness that no one understands unless they hear the word ‘infertility’ themselves. I know your Mum and Dad have been battling their infertility for a long, long time, refusing to let it win. They never gave in and now, look at you!
I hope you are happy and have had a wonderful life up to now. As I have said, I don’t know your parents but I could certainly read between the lines of the letter they wrote me and I just knew they would be amazing parents. I have always listened to my sixth sense and trusted my initial judgement of people….when I read their letter, I had a really good feeling. I smiled and cried and knew I was doing the right thing.
Your parents are amazing people, you all are. Never lose sight of that. Love each other, appreciate each other and never forget to take time to remember how much you have all been through to get to where you are now – a beautiful, happy family.
I wish you all the best in the future, may your life be full of love, laughter, joy and happiness.